Twinkies make a comeback

Twinkie Trio
Twinkies

Twinkies hit the shelves again on July 15, with a new tagline and a lighter calorie count. The old and true “Hey, where’s the cream filling?” slogan has been retired, and a new one has taken its place: “The sweetest comeback in the history of ever.”

What everyone almost immediately noticed, though, was a con to this seemingly perfect resurgence–this new Twinkie was smaller than the one many have come to fall in love with. Hostess is still the owner of the Twinkies, and they made the snack smaller to lower the cost and make it easier to produce the sweet foods. In order to come back, the company did quite a bit of downsizing, reducing the number of factories from 11 to four, the number of employees from 19,000 to 1,800, and outsourcing its entire distribution system (more on these claims later*).

Alternatively, the pros are many. At 135 calories as opposed to the 150 of its older sibling, these new Twinkies are a little healthier and even lighter on your stomach. While the nearly timeless mythos that Twinkies can stay good forever has been proven wrong time and time again (perhaps unless frozen), that doesn’t mean they can’t try to. With a few new added ingredients, these sponge-cakes are supposed to stay edible for a few more weeks (or 45 days, as opposed to the previous count of 26).

Many people got their hands on the snack very early:

“I purchased the first batch out the gate,” says a local mother. “I was in Wal-Mart and there was a whole pallet of Twinkie boxes that had ribbons on them that said ‘first batch’. I think the comeback is cool: Hostess is a very iconic brand. It’s nice to know that the snacks will be enjoyed by future generations.”

Others don’t quite like the product [Twinkies], but understand the good it can do. “I think the comeback of Twinkies will have a positive impact on society because they are a great food to store when you are trying to survive the zombie apocalypse,” said junior Matthew Blauser.

*There is a dark side to the Twinkie comeback though (and I’m not putting emphasis on the fact that our all-American sponge cakes are smaller this time around)—18,000 job losses and questionable management. Hostess laid off thousands of workers due to bankruptcy (many of them around November or so last year) and haven’t rehired any due to fears of employees unionizing; they’ve gone from thirty major bakeries to four. Although there is no evidence for this, a spokesperson for Hostess said they plan to grow to 1,800 workers soon.

Hostess attributes the bankruptcy to the greed of the unions, mainly the Bakery, Confectionery, Tobacco Workers and Grain Millers International Union. While the problem is a lot more complex than that, there won’t be a need to discuss business here. This is a time to celebrate (or roll your eyes at) the comeback of the sweet little cake we call the Twinkie.